


Never Been So Wrong

by maddie_55



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works, The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Battle, Character Death, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 02:19:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/818821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maddie_55/pseuds/maddie_55
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He whips his head back to make sure Bilbo is still behind him. He has done it more than needed, but he wants to keep Bilbo safe. Needs to keep Bilbo safe. He should be more focused on the battle. This battle is too reclaim his kingdom and gold. But he knows that without Bilbo, it'd be worthless to him.<br/>"Pay attention, my King. I’ll always be right behind you." Bilbo says softly. His face is soft and warm, and Thorin's heart hurts because he knows this is not where Bilbo belongs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Been So Wrong

_“I ne_ _ver doubted you” Thorin broke the comfortable silence between him and the Hobbit. Bilbo turned his head around and raised an eyebrow at Thorin._

_“I know I said…” Thorin attempted to explain himself_

_“Oh forget it. Besides, you were right. I would have doubted myself as well” Bilbo said lightly_

_“No, I was not. You are the bravest, yet most caring creature Bilbo. You deserve the crown more than I” Thorin played with a soft curl on Bilbo’s head._

_“I am no king. I will wear no crown. None of that matters anymore. You were a different person then.”_

_“Am I?” Thorin questioned, because he was not so sure. He still looked the same, still thought the same. He was still the son of Thror._

_“Thorin, where is all of this coming from?” Bilbo questioned confusion apparent in his voice._

_“The war is approaching” Thorin stated, still wrapping his fingers into his hobbit’s soft hair._

_“This I know.” Bilbo said, leaning back into Thorin_

_“I may die”_

_“So may I” Bilbo shrugged_

_“But I will protect you.”_

_“Your people will protect you”_

_“You do not have to fight. This is between dwarves and orcs. Not hobbits” Thorin held his breath. He did not want Bilbo to fight. He wanted him safe in the kingdom, waiting for Thorin to return. He did not want him where he did not belong._

_“I will follow you, Thorin. Even into death, I swear it”_

_“You need not to prove your love to me”_

_“I set out to prove nothing. Just that I am a worthy consort of the King under the Mountain.”_

_“If it’s the people you fear, do not. They’re opinions mean nothing to me”_

_“I fear many things, Thorin Oakenshield. But what your people think of me is not one of them”_

_“There is no convincing you out of this, is there?” Thorin whispered into Bilbo’s ear_

_“No, my King. So shut up and enjoy this moment of peace. It may be the last for a while” Bilbo relaxed and closed his eyes_

_“I am going to protect you. You and my nephews come before anything” Thorin stated._

_“I know”_

________________________

It’s the day of the battle. There has been many before this, and will be many after. Why does Thorin feel different? Perhaps it is just the weather. He tries to push it down, deep into his gut to forget about it. He needs to focus. He is putting on the last pieces of his armour. Soon, he will go out and slay hundreds of orcs. His kingdom will smell of orc blood for days. His armour will be covered with blood. His people will see dead orc bodies from miles away. That thought is both terrifying and exhilarating. 

“Nervous?” Bilbo walked in the room; making Thorin snap his head to the direction he heard the voice

“Oh Bilbo. Do not sneak up on me…”

“I’m sorry. I meant no harm. I guess I forget how quite Hobbits can be sometimes.” 

“You are forgiven. Let me hold you…” Thorin says, bringing Bilbo into his chest. He wants to remember how Bilbo smells, and feels. He wants to think about it while he is slaying the orcs. He wants to remember what it’s like to have Bilbo, something Azog will never have.

“Are you alright, dear? You seem shaky…” Bilbo backed up and helped Thorin with the last piece of armour he was having troubles with.

“Yes, of course. I have done this a thousand times before, and will do it a thousand times more. I am King. What do I have to fear?”

Bilbo stayed silent. There were a lot of things he should fear. He took a deep breath in.

“Losing me” He gently closed his eyes. Thorin froze. He stayed standing for what seemed like forever.

“I will protect you” Thorin said, and he quickly grabbed Bilbo’s head and kissed him. The weird feeling he had before slowly creeps away, and all he felt was warmth and love.

They somehow managed to stumble onto the bed, Bilbo clawing and ripping at Thorin’s armour, trying to get it off.

“I just spent hours getting this on” Thorin groaned into Bilbo’s neck, as he pressed his weight on top of the Hobbit.

“Fine,” Bilbo said, breathless, “Keep it on”

Thorin growled and nipped at his ears.

“You, my love, you will be the death of me. Not a sword in my back, or an arrow to my heart. But you and your words” Thorin breathes into Bilbo’s ear. Bilbo shudders and brings his body closer to Thorin.

“Enough with words for now, my King. That is not what I need”

“And what do you need?” Thorin asked, running his hands through Bilbo’s curls.

“You to make love to me”

And that weird feeling Thorin felt before completely vanishes.

________________________

 

He whips his head back to make sure Bilbo is still behind him. He has done it more than needed, but he wants to keep Bilbo safe. Needs to keep Bilbo safe. He should be more focused on the battle. This battle is too reclaim his kingdom and gold. But he knows that without Bilbo, it'd be worthless to him.   
"Pay attention, my King. I’ll always be right behind you." Bilbo says softly. His face is soft and warm, and Thorin's heart hurts because he knows this is not where Bilbo belongs.   
"I'm no king yet. Only in name, not in gold." Thorin says lightly, his hand gripping his sword tighter.   
He does not look back this time because he knows as long as Bilbo is behind him he will be safe. He will always keep Bilbo safe.  
  
The battle begins. The clash of swords fills Thorin's ears and drowns out any other noises. He turns his head and sees Bilbo, shaking but standing his ground. He turns his head back forward quickly because he knows he is no good to anyone if he cannot see the threat.   
That weird feeling from before comes back and he tries to push it down and forget about it.   
He looks around and sees blood and swords. That's all he can see. He sees Kili clean the head of an orc with ease and Fili pats his younger brother on the back and beams with pride. It makes Thorin feel proud yet scared. Is this the life he made for his nephews? Are they being loyal, or are they killers? It does not matter to Thorin because he will love them either way. He looks back and they are gone. He does not worry because he knows no sword or evil will ever break their loyalty for each other. The orc’s head is still lying there, dead and cold. He knows that brings him satisfaction and he wonders if Bilbo will still love him. He knows even if Bilbo breaks his heart, ruins his kingdom and takes all his gold he will love him. That's the only thing he truly knows.

Although his hatred for orcs and goblins will always burn in him, and his desire for gold will always be strong, he does not enjoy killing. A rush of energy does not brush through his veins and he does not crave for blood to drip from his sword. He never has and he never will. He craves power and warmth. He craves Bilbo and bravery. He wonders if his desires will change after this battle. He wonders if it will ruin his mind. He knows he will never be the same. He is physically strong, but he has come to accept that after this battle things will never be the same. It can never be the same. That's okay with Thorin because as long as he has his people, his kingdom and his family, what really has he lost.

He whips his head back again and sees Bilbo, although he has traveled farther from Thorin than he'd like and it seems he is ready to fight. His sword is up, covering his face. There's blood on his sword and clothes but he still looks soft and Thorin knows he still does not belong here. He wants Bilbo to be reading in their bedroom, or cooking up a big meal. He does not want him here, and he knows Bilbo does not want to be here either. He never wanted to bring his warm Bilbo into all this, but he knows he could never break Bilbo’s courage and loyalty. Sometimes he wishes Bilbo was weaker, that'd way Thorin would always know he'd be safe. 

 

_"I’ll always be right behind you"_

Stay. Stay right behind me. 

________________________

 

He does not belong here. He knows this and he's sure Thorin does as well. He wonders if Thorin wishes he were braver. He would not blame Thorin if he did, because Bilbo wishes himself braver too.

His shoulders are sore from holding up the sword, and his feet are raw from standing in blood, dirt and rocks for hours. His takes a risk and closes his eyes. He wants away. Even if just for a moment. He worries about Fili and Kili, being so young. They do not deserve a life of battle and death. Despite being small and weak, he'd take their place any day and let them live a normal, calm life. 

He opens his eyes again and sees that he was wondered far from Thorin. His first instinct is to go back but he does not want to be weak. If he is going to be the consort of The King Under the Mountain he cannot be weak and helpless. 

But he is helpless, because all he wants is to be in Thorin's arms.

He's had a weird feeling all day, and it only keeps getting worse. He swallows a lump in his throat but his throat just seems to get dryer. His shaking becomes worse, and he can barely hold his sword. He notices, from a distance, a pack of orcs coming in his direction. His first instinct is to call for Thorin, but he won't. This is a battle. Everyone for themselves. He cannot distract Thorin, it will only put him in danger as well. He swallows and remembers he is a Took, and that has to count for something. He has to be somewhat brave. The orcs are getting closer and closer and closer. Thoughts are racing through his head a million miles per minute. Yet he has no idea what to do. He quickly looks around and sees Fili in the distance, fighting off orcs. His stealthiest and strength will always impress Bilbo. Fili looks over at Bilbo and Bilbo lightly smiles. He sees Fili's face quickly distort into horror and Bilbo does not understand. It seems like forever, but must have only been a few seconds. Then, he gets it.

_Be brave, Bilbo Baggins._

And he keeps a tight grip on his swords. He will not use it but it gives him some sort of comfort, something to hold on to. He sees Fili and Kili trying to get to get to him. He thinks he says _"don't"_ but he doesn't know of its audible or not.   

 He does not feel the sword enter his body, or him falling on the ground. Maybe he does, but all he's thinking about is Thorin. And the Shire. And the other 12 dwarves that he shared his adventures with. He thinks about first seeing Thorin, and the harsh words from him that broke Bilbo’s heart. He thinks about falling in love with Thorin from a distance because he thought the King would never return the feelings. He thinks about the first time they made love. 

 

_"Oh my, you are beautiful" Thorin gushed at Bilbo, as the hobbit blushed and turned his face away._

_"Well, allow me to see you" Thorin whispered, gripping Bilbo’s jaw and moving his hobbit's face so he could see it. Bilbo is shaking and his eyes are wide with lust and nervousness._

_"Are you afraid?" Thorin asked softly, brushing Bilbo's curls out of his face._

_"No" Bilbo sighs and brings his face closer to Thorin's, making their noses touch._

_"Good. Because I doubt I can wait any longer to make you mine" Thorin growls, kissing Bilbo's soft lips harshly, but with care. Bilbo tilts his head back and opens his mouth, making himself vulnerable to Thorin._

_Thorin finally breaks their kiss, starts taking off Bilbo's clothes. "Damn you hobbits for wearing so many layers" Thorin said, still struggling to unbutton Bilbo’s vest._

_"Ugh! You are not in the position to talk about the way hobbits dress. It'll take forever to get you out of all your layers"_

_They both stay silent and focus on removing the thinning out layers between them. They're both breathing heavily now and both their eyes are widened and full of love and lust._

_"Just so you know, I was and always will be yours"_

 

He is thinking about marrying Thorin, and living in Erebor. He doesn't even notice the orc’s sword digging into his gut. He's too wrapped up in his thoughts. The promises he'll never get to fulfill. 

_"I'll help you get your home back"_

_"I'll marry you"_

_"I'll stay with you till the day you die"_

_"I’ll always be right behind you."_

He's coughing now. His own blood is pouring out of his mouth. He can feel pain now. 

He hears running towards him. He wonders if the orcs are coming back to take off his head. 

"Bilbo!" Even in his weakened state, he would recognized the voice anywhere. Dwalin.

He wants to speak but he can't. His throat is full of blood and he does not have the energy.

"Oh my! We need to get him help!" Ori yelps, grabbing one of Bilbo's hands. If he could, he would have thanked the young dwarf. At least he doesn't need to grip his sword anymore. He desperately wants to ask about Thorin, but the words won't come out. He keeps trying but no matter what only blood comes out. No words. Balin and Dwalin look at each other with desperate eyes, hoping either one can provide a miracle and save him. But they can't. They know he is going to die. He wants to tell them it's okay, that he's okay. Just don't leave. But he can't.

________________________

The weird feeling comes back, but it’s more like an arrow piercing him rather than it slowly creeping up. This time, no matter how hard he tries, he can't push it back down. Just now he realizes how sore his throat is from screaming and how raw his hands are from gripping his sword. 

He has an urge to turn his head around but he knows it will only leave him open for attack and he remembers Bilbo’s words from earlier. But the urge is like an itch. It keeps getting worse. 

He turns his head, but only because he hears his nephews calling him. 

"What is it? We are in the middle of a battle! I cannot be distracted with your foolishness" 

"Uncle. It's Bilbo" Kili manages to get out. They're both breathless from running.

He heart stops for a moment. 

"What of the hobbit?" Thorin says calmly. Nothing happened. Bilbo is fine.

"He's hurt. I saw a large group if orcs running towards him. He was alone and-" 

"And you didn't go to his aid? You decided to watch my One get attacked by orcs?" Thorin screams at Fili. He's face is hard and dark with anger.

"N-no! We tried to get to him, but they're we're too many orcs in our way. We would've been too late. I went to go get the others... They're with him now" 

"Bring me to him. I need to see him" 

________________________

 

Thorin drops to his knees right beside Bilbo. His hands quickly attempted to wipe the blood from his lovers face.

"Bilbo..." He voice breaks and tears brim his eyes. A lump is stuck in his throat and he struggles just to breathe.

Bilbo whimpers and him and coughs up more blood. Thorin fills with anger and hatred and if Bilbo didn't need him right now he'd kill every single orc with his bare hands. 

"Shhh. It's alright" Thorin tries to sooth Bilbo, tries to calm him down. He does not think it’s working because right now he sounds weak and scared. He looks up at the dwarves surrounding Bilbo. They are all together. It was supposed to be like this, on their wedding day. Not with Bilbo dying. 

Bofur puts his hand on Thorin's back, trying to provide support. But he doesn't heal Bilbo so it doesn't help Thorin at all. He wants to scream at them to leave, to do something, to help Bilbo. But he can't because he doesn't have the strength. 

He holds Bilbo's hands and thinks of all the times they've held hands before and how much joy and relief it brought Thorin. Bilbo’s hands were always soft and warm. But now, they're cold. 

"Oh Bilbo..." Thorin does not know how many times he has said the hobbit's name but he really did not care.

Bilbo’s eyes are only half open now and Thorin knows his lover will soon leave him and he cannot bear that thought. 

"How will I go on without you?" But Bilbo does not reply. 

"Why did you leave? Why didn't you call for help?" Thorin's voice is getting quieter and he feels so helpless. 

"You should've stayed behind me" 

He closes his eyes and a few tears fall onto Bilbo's face.

"I love you" Bilbo tries to choke out though blood and it’s barely audible. His head falls back and his breathing is slowing down. Thorin rubs his thumbs along Bilbo's.

"So, where do you want to get married?" Thorin smiles through tears and Bilbo coughs out a weak laugh.

"Don't freak out, ok? I know sometimes you think you are unworthy. But if anyone is unworthy, it's me of you. I know you'll be beautiful, as you seem to become more each and every day.Walking down the aisle, you’ll do fine. Don’t stress about it." He knows that Bilbo would have stressed and worried anyways, but he wants to comfort him. He hears Ori let out a chocked sob but he doesn't bother to look up.

"I would've gone back to the Shire, if that's what you would have wanted. But, if you chose for us to stay at Erebor, I would have bathed you in gifts and riches. Everyone would bow down to you. I'd never have you leave my side" Thorin finally opens his eyes and he knows Bilbo is gone. Bilbo’s chest, that he ran his hands down a thousand times, had stopped rising. The soft lips he had kissed every morning and every night were cold. His hands that had healed, helped, cooked and held were now stiff. And the beautiful face that his love for only grew for each day was pale and lifeless. He thinks of how Bilbo did not belong here. Should not have been here. He thinks of Azog, the filthy scum, still breathing while his Bilbo is not.

Thorin felt rage and anger, and it overcame everything else in that moment. He jumped up and quickly grabbed a sword. He takes a last look at his companions. The friends that were the only ones brave enough to embark on the journey. The dwarves who were supposed to be at his and Bilbo’s wedding. 

"I want us buried together. Put our ashes in Bag End. Perhaps on the hill Bilbo grew up in."

"Thorin, what are you saying? This isn't-" Dwalin started but was cut off. 

"That's an order. From your king" He says strictly. 

"Do not let the gold take over your mind like it did my grandfather. You'll be a good king, Fili. " Thorin tells Fili, and before anyone can do anything, he's running towards the battle field.

He screams and cries and kills and harms. He just runs, swinging his sword everywhere, hitting every orc within the distance his sword can reach. He knows he is setting his own fate, with this reckless behaviour but he doesn't care. The orcs run towards Thorin, only to be cut down. 

"Azog, what can we do?" He hears an orc cry out. He almost laughs because he can hear the fear in the orc’s voice.

"Someone, shoot him! He's not immortal! Do something, you cowards" Azog yells, and he hears orcs setting up their bows. 

Finally, after what seems like forever, an arrow pierces his back. And another one. And another. Blood pours out, the scent fills his nostrils and any feeling is now gone.

 

_"Did I not say that you would be a burden, that you would not survive in the wild and that you have no place among us?" He looked Bilbo right in the eyes. He was shaking, but he didn't back down. Bilbo swallowed hard but kept his eyes on Thorin as well._

_"I have never been so wrong in my life" Thorin hugs Bilbo, and for the first time, he realizes maybe home isn’t a huge kingdom full of gold._

 

Thorin smiles as his face strikes the ground. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! hope you liked it. I know Bilbo's and Thorin's death aren't that sad, but I'm still working on my writing skills (they are not that good) but I'm trying! Sorry for any mistakes, honestly. Any comments are welcome!


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